Thursday, June 19, 2014

Dissociation

Who is this turned away
from me in a gown
and red panties with
Wonder Woman on them

because as much as I like the
inane sexual war,
there persists
or more so, does not

consistency with the rain,
mind insane with engravings of
an uncontrollable pain.

Poetry is writing’s mascara,
and I hesitate confirming
my own vanity
by telling you to wear less make-up

and make the boys stare
because neither my attention
nor your own success is enough
to have you stay away

since you did it.
We all know you did.
Some think you did more,

and I’m somewhere between here and
not here,
the only opposite of presence.

I want your weakness,
guilty as it makes me,
dangerous as it is,
strange as it is to think

that two glasses could kill
and look into the other
while biding their contemplation,
full dissociation.

I’m looking at one person,
kissing another
red but
white goose

that bites with its
tongue,

and the shades are drawn
with a Katab-brand fountain pen
dedicated to avoiding pocket stains.

Who is this
ageless child
stranger to me
than I noticed,

disconnected by
reddish-orange strands
and a smile often
higher on the left side

from where the child died
and became a woman
or something like it
that I like better,

something dark,
the fallen angel of light
having taught a woman
to not fall

even if what’s
remembered ages since
with a sigh
from one of her benefactors.

Who is this
that sees the world
more clearly than I,

crosses off the mob
without becoming crass
and is true
when no one knows it?

How big is a mistake
in Newtons,

how long does it take
for two trains heading northeast and northwest
to forget about each other?

And how often does this cross her mind?

Thursday, June 5, 2014

21 Months

I was thinking about everything
and nothing
that was left of you and I,
and I wrote it all and
none down with a blue pen,
bluer than the lies of my veins.

It is and was
a June day in April,
another orange one,
and the sweat is raining from
my infinite sky.

I gave you an ice cream
every day
for fifty cents of
my rhetoric.

You stopped and
I would not;
I stopped and you
would not.

I was wrong,
but I won't confess it,

I'll just please you
nice
and
slow.

A white truck
came
I'm pretty sure
it did.

It was a mistake
to carry on
so long,
but I know
it was only me counting.

Look at the Sky

You have me wishing that I
wrote many of the songs
I listen to, the
heaving piano numbers
or the Friday afternoon anthems.

These teach me the difference,
frustrated longing and depression,
the difference in
how much I love myself.

I could see you countless times
so I could leave you each
and inhale the contented longing
living with you
without you
brings.

We could look at the sky
and sit politely in darkness
where there are no stars
besides you they say.
I say I'm lost.
You say nothing,
and that's more than both of us.